A few months ago, I was sorting through some old files, and I came across a rather curious paragraph, written by me. It was from a note written to myself back in 1998 – rather a difficult year of personal relationships – and it read:
Thoughts on Noel Crane…Denial?
“Why must I experience all of this? Only to feel so completely alone? I just don’t want them to know that it’s me I’m putting out there.”
Perhaps it illuminated something, which was both personal, and truly important, about the work which was about to take place in the ensuing months: I was about to assume the role of a fictional character, and create a website for him as transparently as possible, as though created by him — and this attention I would receive would be both unprecedented in its appeal to fans, and profound to its creator, personally.
The gauge for success on such a sitework would come from its seamlessness with the hyperreality it created around the television show Felicity — I knew that I might resent having my identity mistaken for his, from time to time — but if properly executed, it would have all of my life and my person included, and no one would ever find out that I was behind any of it.
An ironic reward for success, to say the least.